How to integrate an ancient Egyptian?
by Ryou-Ran
Summary: The 5000 year old soul of the friendly magician Moonlight Bakura accidentally ends up in Ryou's era... Ryou has got to find a way to make him return, but he must also teach him TVs don't catch souls and that basketballs are not to be shot at... torture!
1. Default Chapter

And hi there! I thought I should upload some fics just at once. I've been inactive for a way too long period of time.

Moonlight: Well, what part will I have in this?

Ryou-Ran: You are going to be very important.

Moonlight: (pats himself on the chest) I always have been.

Ryou: --"

Ryou-Ran: Let me tell you. Moonlight is going to end up in the era in which Ryou lives. He won't understand a single thing of what's going on. Warning: This is not meant to really be a humor-fic, though some things may be funny.

Ryou: Wait, an ancient Egyptian here? In Domino City?

Ryou-Ran: Yes, indeed.

Yami Bakura: And what about me?

Ryou-Ran: You will show up later. You'll be important too.

Yugi: Say, I'm having a problem...

Ryou-Ran:Yes?

Yugi: Yami bit the wire of my TV and now his hair is sticking up even more than usual.

Ryou: Why would Yami bite an electrical wire?

Yugi: He thought it was liquorice.

Ryou: --" Acceptable.

Ryou-Ran: We're going to start the fic. Yugi, you do the disclaimer.

Yugi: Sure. Ryou-Ran does not know Yu-Gi-OOOOOH!

Ryou-Ran: OO"

Yami: FZZZZZZT!

Ryou-Ran: Great, there goes my TV.

How to intregrate an ancient Egyptian

Ryou was sleeping peacefully in his bed, until he felt someone shake his arm. "Hu-ung!"he uttered, not wanting to wake up. "Ryou, wake up!"an urgent voice said. The voice did not speak Japanese. It spoke ancient Egyptian. Ryou turned around and opened his brown eyes. He looked in a pair of eyes virtually similair to his, but then purple-blue. "Heh? Moonlight?"he yawned. Moonlight nodded. "This is a weird dream."Ryou decided and lay down again. He almost fell back asleep, but Moonlight thugged his arm. "Wake _up_, Ryou!"he whined. "I don't know where I am!" Ryou tried to get up and fell out of bed. "Ow! So this is not a dream."he said, rubbing his painful backside. He reached out and turned on the light.

"Ah-aaie!"Moonlight uttered. "A little sun!" Ryou got up and lay the blankets back on the bed. "Now where am I?"Moonlight asked. Ryou yawned again. "You're in my apartment."he said. Moonlight was still looking at the lamp. "What's an apartment?"he asked. "My house."Ryou said. He pulled Moonlight's arm. "Come on."

He took Moonlight to the kitchen and, much to Moonlight's delight, turned on another little sun. "You wait here, then I'll go get dressed."he said, placing Moonlight on a chair. It creacked under Moonlight's weight. Moonlight looked around. He saw a small box standing on a high table and saw some chests hanging on the wall. There was another wall with a big, square-formed hole in it.

Ryou came back, wearing a white T-shirt with his name written on it and blue pants. He was combing his long hair. He went to a big chest standing against the wall and took a can of milk out of it. "What kind of papyrus is that?"Moonlight asked, never having seen such stiff, folded paper before. Ryou scratched his head, not knowing how to explain it to an ancient Egyptian. "It's eh... cardboard..." "Kahd boohd?"Moonlight repeated. Ryou took two cups out of a cupboard and poured some milk into them. Moonlight looked at the white fluid and took a swig. "How did you get here?"Ryou asked. Moonlight swallowed his milk. "I don't know."he said. "I went asleep and woke up in your room." Ryou cupped his chin in his hand. "That's strange."he said. "I think we should go to Yami." "Shall we go right now?"Moonlight asked. "No."Ryou said. "Look out of the window! It's still dark outside."

Moonlight stood and went over to the window. He wanted to stick his head out of it, but banged with his nose into something solid. With a face like a big questionmark he looked at the window. "What's this?"he asked. "An invisible wall?" Ryou went to stand next to him. "No, it's glass."he said. "That's something transparant that keeps the warmth in and the cold outside." "It keeps Moonlight's in too."Moonlight muttered. He pressed his nose against the glass and looked at the abandoned streets. "This is a really high place! Almost a palace! Is it all yours?" Ryou smiled. "No, just a part of it."he said. "Only this part of the building. There are many people living in this building."

Ryou found they should both get some sleep and lay down on his bed. He had Moonlight install himself on the couch. Ryou fell asleep soon, but Moonlight stayed awake for a while. Ryou's house was full of noises. He could hear things buzz and rumble.

Some hours later Ryou got out of bed and went to wake Moonlight up. While Moonlight wiped the sleep out of his eyes Ryou went to makes themselves breakfast. Moonlight watched him. "Don't you need to make a fire?"he asked. Ryou nodded. "Look. Instant fire!"he said. He turned on the gass cooker. Moonlight watched bemused. There were so many things he did not understand.

After breakfast Ryou wanted to go to Yugi's. But the problem was that Moonlight was wearing the wrong clothes. He was only wearing a skirt around his waist and some pieces of jewelery. "Listen, Moonlight."Ryou said. "We should find you some decent clothing... pants and a T-shirt, or something." "Pants?"Moonlight asked. Ryou pulled his trousers. "This."he said. He went to his room, but all of his clothes were too small for Moonlight, exept for the pants. Moonlight's chest was really thick. Ryou saw if he could find a T-shirt belonging to his father; a muscular man. But most of those were too small for Moonlight. Finally he found a white T-shirt fitting Moonlight. The shirt was tightly stretched over Moonlight chest. The Egyptian man looked uneasy. "Ryou, I don't like wearing fabrics around my chest."he said with a thin voice. Ryou burst into laughter. "In Japan everybody wears shirts."he said. "You'll have to."

Moonlight reluctantly agreed on wearing a shirt and pants, but insisted on still wearing his bracelets, necklace and the golden rings his legs were plated with. They left and took the elevator down. "Say, Ryou, why are we standing here in this little room?"Moonlight wanted to know. "Just wait and you'll find out."Ryou said and toggled a switch. The elevator went down. Moonlight's eyes grew to the size of saucers and he got an expression of utmost discomfort on his tanned face. When they stopped he had wrapped an arm around his stomach. "Uuhh... that didn't feel so good..."he sighed. When the doors opened they found themselves on a completely different place. Moonlight's jaw fell. "What the.."he began, but Ryou grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the elevator.

The appartment-building in which Ryou lived was located in a calm piece of Domino City, but soon they arrived on a busier area. Lots of cars were racing around and were making noise.

"Ah-aaie!"Moonlight cried again, covered his ears with his hands and sank to his knees. Ryou squatted besides him and looked at Moonlight's face. Confusion, fear and pain fought for a place on Moonlight's face. "What... is... this, Ryou?"Moonlight cried. "It's so noisy... it smells, it rumbles like thunder... What hell do you live in?" Ryou grabbed his elbow and helped him get up. "This is the world I live in, Moonlight. The fast things you see are used for transport."he said. "See? There are people sitting in them." Moonlight looked up. "Come on."Ryou said and pulled him to a zebra crossing with traffic lights. He felt Moonlight tremble. When a car raced close to them Moonlight leapt back and bumped with his head against a lantern-pole. The light became green. "It's safe now, Moonlight."Ryou said. "Let's cross the street." He and Moonlight began the walk over the zebra crossing. Moonlight anxiously looked at the cars that were lined up, like they wanted to destroy them.

A motor-cycle went through the red light. It raced past them just behind Moonlight. Moonlight gave a scream and ran over to the side-walk. He stuck out a hand at the back of the man on the bike and began to mumble a spell, but Ryou could just stop him. "Don't!"he cried. "You can't just shoot him!" He grabbed Moonlight's wrist and pulled him in the direction of the Turtle Game Shop.

Yugi was just having breakfast when he heard voices outside. One of them sounded like Ryou's, the other sounded a little lower. The lowest voice sounded scared. He saw Ryou enter the shop. The door swung back and hit the person following Ryou right in the face. "Oohhh..."the man sighed. When he had entered Yugi saw he had a copper-colored skin, white hair and a scar on his cheek. He wore a white shirt that was a little too tight and grey pants. On his feet were Egyptian shoes. His eyes were wide open and he panted.

"Bakura!"Yugi said. "Is that Moonlight Bakura?" Ryou nodded. "Yugi, we're having a big problem."he said. "Moonlight does not know anything of this world. We just walked the bit from my flat to your house and he was scared to death. He does not know why and how he got here." Moonlight sat down on the floor. He looked at his big hands and the strange clothing he was wearing. He didn't feel comfortable in them. The T-shirt was a little too small and the pants were too tight in the groin. He would rather wear his normal skirt and nothing around his upper body, but Ryou had said Japanese men do not run around in skirts and with their chests exposed. He was right. All the men Moonlight had seen had been wearing pants and shirts.

Suddenly Yami was standing in front of him. Moonlight leapt up, accidentally gave Ryou a skull-bash and bowed for Yami, but the pants were too tight. "Ow... Greetings, my Pharaoh."he said. Ryou reeled a bit and held his nose. Yami looked at Moonlight. "Moonlight Bakura, what brought you here?"he asked. Moonlight's shoulders drooped. "I wish I knew."he said. "I just... got here." He looked lost.

Grandpa Muto came in holding a package with cards. Ryou rushed over to him to look at them, but Moonlight pressed his back against the wall and looked unhappy. Yami talked to him, Moonlight softly anwered.

"He looks a lot like you."Solomon said. "Who's that, Bakura?" Ryou's gaze saddened a bit. "That's Moonlight Bakura. If Yami Bakura wouldn't have gotten evil that is what he would have become."he explained. "But I don't know how he got here and how he can go back to his Soulroom inside my mind. That's why I came here. Yugi and Yami might help us." Yami had finished his talk with Moonlight and returned to his Soulroom inside the Puzzle. Yugi walked over to Ryou. "Bakura-Kun, we've got to go to school, but what about Moonlight?"he asked. Moonlight had followed him. "School?"he asked. "Never go school." Ryou rubbed his chin with his fingers. "We should take him with us."he decided. "I don't want to leave him alone in my flat and I don't think it would be wise to leave him here with your grandfather. I'll just take him with me." He picked up his bag, grabbed his uniform-jacket and pulled a loudly protesting Moonlight outside.

* * *

Chappie one is finished!

Moonlight: Ow, ow...

Ryou: What is it, Moonlight?

Moonlight: This thing is too tight! It hurts my honour!

Ryou: (is too innocent to understand) Your honour?

Ryou-Ran: (whispers in his ear)

Ryou: Oh, ouch! That hurts!

Yami Bakura: (snickers)

Yami: (chews on a wire) Say, how do produce your liquorice these days? It's rather flashing stuff! Litterally!

Ryou-Ran: --" Have you ever seen copper wires in a piece of liquorice?

Yami: OO" I'M POISONED! HELP ME, YUGI! I'M GOING TO DIE!

Ryou: OO"

Moonlight: DON'T WORRY, MY PHARAOH! I WILL SAVE YOU! (sticks a finger in Yami's throat)

Yami: (spits plastic and stuff all over Moonlight)

Moonlight: So, I saved you. (is very proud of himself)

Ryou-Ran: Sure. Okay, will Yami continue eating electric wires? What is going to happen to Moonlight's honour? Check out the next chappie as soon as I've uploaded it!

Please review.


	2. Can't read, can't write

I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time, Hikari!

A week ago I bought Hercules with my little brother and young Herc turned out to be played by Ryou... and he was _singing_ all the time. I was like: "Oh my Gods!" (swoon swoon) I did not know he could sing that well!

Moonlight: ? What weird place is this?

Ryou-Ran: What do you mean, Moonlight?

Moonlight: There's a tree growing in the middle of your room!

Ryou-Ran: Well, that's a Christmas-tree.

Moonlight: What kind of creature is that?

Ryou: It's just an event, Moonlight. Christian people celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Moonlight: Jesus? Do I know him?

Ryou-Ran: He's probably three-thousand years younger than you.

Moonlight: Ah! (looks out of the window) AAHH! WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Ryou-Ran: OO"

Ryou: That's snow, Moonlight. Nothing to worry about!

Moonlight: IT'S THE NUMBER EIGHT OF THE SEVEN PLAGUES! OH, RA, HELP US!

Ra: Sorry, Moonlight, but I'm not in charge of the weather!

Moonlight: (hangs his head) Oh no... we're all going to die...

Ryou-Ran: (softly jabs Ryou in the side)

Ryou: Yes?

Ryou-Ran: Let's start the fic and calm Moonlight down in the mean time.

Ryou: Okay.

Disclaimer: Ryou-Ran does no own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Can't read, can't write

Again Moonlight had to go over the noisy streets. Yugi observed him and saw how nervous the young man was. "Those things go so fast, Ryou..."Moonlight said. "Can they see where they are going?" "Yes, of course."Ryou said. "The people driving them had to go through a series of tests. They are all allowed to drive." Moonlight looked at him. "Maybe, but are they able to?"he asked. Ryou opened his mouth to give an answer, but had to admit Moonlight had a point. A car raced really close to Moonlight. "WAAHAAAH!"Moonlight screamed and threw himself into Ryou's arms. "Sunday's driver!"Yugi shouted. "I've got your number!" Ryou tried to wrestle himself out of Moonlight's grip. Moonlight blushed and released him. "Sorry."he said.

A few minutes later they ended up in a calmer part of Domino City, much to Moonlight's relief. Soon they reached the school-campus. The students were waiting outside. A purple-haired girl hopped over to them as soon as she saw Ryou. "Hi, Bakura-San."she said in such a sensual way that Yugi began to giggle. Ryou's eyes widened. "Hello, Miho."he rather nervously said. Miho's eyes were filled with worship. "Have you slept well tonight?"she asked, fluttering her eyelashes in an exaggerating way. "I beg your pardon?"Ryou asked. Moonlight sent Yugi an amused glance and chuckled in his hand. "I see you are feeling much better!"Ryou almost snarled at him in Egyptian. Moonlight abruptly stopped laughing and looked at Ryou with such tragical and sad eyes that Ryou burst out laughing. Miho looked at Moonlight. Moonlight was shocked when he saw the pink light also appeared in Miho's eyes when she looked at _him_. He had forgotten his face was almost identical to Ryou's. "Who's your friend?"Miho asked Ryou. "Oh, uhh... that is my cousin from Egypt."he said. "He came here by plane yesterday."

They went inside. Ryou immediately went over the teacher with Moonlight in his wake. "Ma'am?"he said. "I have got a problem." The teacher looked at the two boys. She noticed they looked a lot like each other, exept for the bodies. "This is my cousin from Egypt. He stays here in Domino City for a while."Ryou began. "But he comes from a remote part of Egypt and does not understand our technology and our society. I did not dare to leave him in my apartment alone... can he stay in class with us today? I will promise he will behave himself." The teacher had never heard the shy boy talk that much. "Egyptian?"she said. "I thought you were Japanese." Ryou nodded. "My roots are Egyptian. Most of my ancestors went to Japan, but one of them stayed in Egypt. My cousin is her descendant. I am totally Japanese." The teacher looked at Moonlight again. "Funny!"she said, in the positive way of the word. Moonlight looked incredibly much like Ryou. He even had slant-eyes. "Can you speak Japanese?"she asked. Moonlight made a bob with his head. "Bit Japanese."he said. "Speak bit." The teacher smiled at him. "What's your name, boy?"she asked. Moonlight laid a fist on his chest. The golden bracelet reflected the sunlight. "Bakura."he said. "Your last name?"the teacher asked. Moonlight shook no. "No, Bakura first name."he said. "But have a... a..." He looked at Ryou and let a stream of Egyptian words come out. Ryou listened to him. "He says he has got a nickname too."he translated. Moonlight again laid his fist on his chest. "Moonlight Bakura."he clearly said. "Moonlight." "Why are you called Moonlight?"the teacher asked. Moonlight grabbed a handful of his white hair. "Give light when moon shines."he said. "Magic light." The bell rang. Moonlight cringed and winced. The reedy sound hurt his sensitive ears. The teacher had him sit next to Ryou.

A few moments later everybody was working on their science. Moonlight, who couldn't read, had been given a sheet of paper and a pencil so he could draw a bit. Ryou had to convince him the piece of wood was _not_ made to pick your teeth with and then they could start. All that could be heard was the sound of pens scratching over paper. After a few minutes suddenly a "_Crack_!" and a shocked "Ra!" could be heard. Moonlight was sitting between the remains of his broken chair, the pencil still in his hand. "Break!"he uttered, surprised. "Chair just break!" Everybody looked at him. "In Egypt much better chairs!"Moonlight muttered as he got up. Ryou laid his head on his arms. First they thought he was crying when they saw his shoulders rattle, but he was having a silent fit of laughter. When he lifted his head up again he had calmed down again, but his cheeks were still pink. Moonlight saw everybody's gaze was fixed on him and he turned red. The teacher had Tristan get a new chair. Moonlight carefully sat down on it and was glad when it didn't break. Everybody bent over their papers again.

After a few hours the bell rang again. Moonlight had fallen asleep with his face flat on the table, but the sound woke him up again. "U-huh... What's wrong?"he sleepily asked Ryou. "There is time to eat now."Ryou said. "Come on." Moonlight followed him to the canteen. Ryou went to get a plate of food, Moonlight followed his example.

"What is this stuff?"Moonlight asked. "It smells weird." Ryou pulled up his small nose. "I am afraid this is endive."he said. He sat down on a table and took a bit of it. "Yes, endive."he said. Moonlight reached out and wanted to grab it and stuff it in his mouth, but Ryou quickly handed him a spoon. "Use this to scoop it up, Moonlight."he said. Moonlight held the spoon like a stick and took some of the green sludge on his tray. Immediately his face flinched. "Uhh... bitter..."he said. He saw Ryou was bravely eating the gross stuff and decided to finish it too. After they had eaten Ryou left and came back with two tin cans with cola in it. He gave one to Moonlight. "Here's something to drink."he said. Moonlight accepted it and turned it around and around, but could not find an opening. Finally he plunged the sharp end of his bracelet into the can. Ryou was looking at him stupidly. "You can also do it like this."he said, and pulled the little ring attached to it. "Why don't you try a sip?" Moonlight brought the can to his mouth and took a big swig.

"Oops!"he blurted and slapped a hand in front of his mouth. He hiccupped and then covered his nose. "It stings!" Ryou smiled and took a small sip. "That is what happens when you drink too much of it at once."he said. "It contains a gass that stings a bit. People love it. But when you drink it too hastily it makes you belch." Moonlight looked at the small can in his big hand with big eyes. He let one drop fall on his tongue.

When they walked back he suddenly paled a bit and then belched loudly. Ryou's face got the color of fire. "That is what happens."he said. Moonlight shook his head. "People drink weird things in this era."he concluded. Ryou laughed. Together they walked to the gymnastic-classes.

"What are we going to do now, Ryou?"Moonlight asked. Ryou went over to a locker, opened it up and got a plastic bag out of it. "We are going to do some sports."he said. Moonlight smiled. He was quite good at sports. They got dressed in the dressing-room. Eventually they came out, Moonlight being nervous because he had to wear tight shorts. "Moonlight, you will have to give your jewels to the teacher. You are not allowed to wear them, because you might hurt someone with them or get stuck with them."Ryou said. "She will take care of them not being stolen." Moonlight saw Ryou lay his keys in a small basket the teacher was holding. The Egyptian took his necklace off, his bracelets and the pure golden rings around his legs. He laid them in the basket (which was immediately filled completely) and smiled at the bemused teacher.

The teacher decided they would play basketball that lesson. Ryou quickly explained the rules to Moonlight and warned him that he should not shoot people if they accidentally hit him. They were both placed in a different team. Ryou was unfortunately part of Miho's team. Moonlight was in one team with Joey. Moonlight's team had to play against Tristan's team. "Here, Moonlight!"Joey shouted, tossing him the ball. "In the basket!" Moonlight looked at the ball in his hands. What had Ryou said? He had to dribble it? He took a decision and threw the ball with all of his power to the floor. It bounced back with so much power that it hit the high ceiling of the hall and went right into the basket. "Uhh..."Tristan said. Joey tapped Moonlight on the shoulder and took him aside. "When you bounce the ball you must not use so much power."he said. "It's very elastic, it will bounce all by itself. Look, like this." He let the ball fall and made it bounce with just one hand. "See?" Moonlight nodded. "Like this."he said, grabbed the ball and copied Joey's move. "Right!"Joey said.

In the next game someone suddenly threw the ball right in Joey's face. The hair in Moonlight's neck began to stick up of anger, but then he remembered Ryou had told him to stay calm. He helped Joey get up. "You okay?"he asked. Joey rubbed his nose. A little bit of blood came from his nostrils. "I've got a bloodnose."he said, looking at his hand. "Go to teacher, she help you."Moonlight said. And to the person who had thrown the ball: "You look out!" "Mind your own business, brown freak!"the boy shouted.

He had said too much. Moonlight was flabbergasted for a moment, but then he became angry. The boy had turned around and was walking away. Moonlight fixed his gaze on the boy's feet and mumbled something. His eyes lit up for less than a second.

The boy slipped in such a weird way that he made a salto and landed flat on his back. The others looked at him. They all began to laugh, exept for Ryou and Moonlight. Ryou suspected something and looked at Moonlight, who was innocently picking the ball from the floor. The games went on and eventually the lesson was over. They all returned to the dressing-rooms. "Moonlight, did you make that boy slip?"Ryou asked. Moonlight looked at the floor. "He insulted my heritage."he shortly said.

At home Ryou wanted to watch TV. He turned the device on. "HAI-IAAAA!"Moonlight gasped. "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Ryou grabbed the remote and turned it off. He looked at Moonlight, who had almost climbed in a curtain. "What is wrong?"he asked. Moonlight was scared to death. "Can't you see that thing takes the soul out of your body?!"he shrieked. "The soul of that girl was stuck inside!" Ryou looked at him dumbfounded. Moonlight pressed his back against the wall. "That's _very_ dark magic."he mumbled. Ryou wrapped his arms around his stomach and burst into laughter. "Don't laugh!"Moonlight angrily shouted. "This is serious, you know!" And with a look at the TV: "This thing must be placed here by Yami Bakura." Tears ran down Ryou's cheeks. "Mooh-"he began, but began to laugh again, much to Moonlight's horror. "See?!"he almost hysterically cried. "The thing has made you lose your mind already!" "Water... in face... please!"Ryou panted and began laughing again. Moonlight had learned how the tap worked, got a glass of water and threw it in Ryou's face.

"You did not need to throw the glass too."Ryou said five minutes later, when he had woken up again. Moonlight looked at him with a sad look on his copper-colored face. "I'm sorry, Ryou."he said. He sat down besides him. "I do not belong here."he said. "All those things... They are all like dark magic to me." He turned his face to Ryou. "I want to go back."

* * *

Aw, poor Moonlight! I'm a very evil person to place him in Ryou's era! (heh heh!) And I absolutely _hate_ endive! It's a typical Dutch vegetable (it's called "Andijvie" in Dutch, pronounced as "Ondy-vee") and it's absolutely gross. Only my Mum loves it.

Moonlight: So snow is nothing more than water?

Ryou: That is right.

Moonlight: (lower-lip begins to tremble)

Ryou: What is it, Moonlight?

Moonlight: I CANNOT SWIM! (throws himself into Ryou's arms)

Ryou: HEY! HOOH! (arms break off) NO, NOT AGAIN!

Ryou-Ran: I had just fixed those! Moonlight!

Moonlight: But I can't swim! I'll drown! I'm gonna die-ie-ie!

Ryou-Ran: (sarcastically) Hero!

Moonlight: (stops crying) Thank you!

Everybody: --"

Don't worry, peoples, in the next chapter the torture will begin to show up! Ha ha! Cough, splutter!

Ryou: (is worried) Do you want some cough syrup?

Ryou-Ran: --" Can't you see I'm laughing evilly?!

Ryou: --" Sure.

Anyway: Merry Christmas eveybody and Happy Newye- COUGHGASPGURGLE (sounds all creacky) Ryou, I'd fancy some cough syrup, please.

Please review


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